


Nothing Can Go Wrong

by RangerLauren



Series: Carnaberg Heck [4]
Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Gen, also Carnaberg are trolls and its great, idk but semi-cute things happen, kind of a filler i guess???, obvious foreshadowing is obvious, prepare for trouble later tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 02:32:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerLauren/pseuds/RangerLauren
Summary: Djimmi meets with Cagney to discuss the rest of the week while Cala Maria has a crisis in the middle of the ocean.





	Nothing Can Go Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again  
> This part's kinda filler, we're gonna get into it next part tho  
> Ahuehuehue  
> Anyway hope you guys enjoyyyyyyy

The next few days went by surprisingly well. Djimmi had half-expected Cagney to bail or continue to be stubborn, but that was not the case. Cagney arrived on time and, with a little coaxing, was willing to talk, even about the more personal topics. He became more motivated with every meeting, and by the end of the day on Monday, Djimmi had everything he needed to know.

The genie listened to the distant pitter-patter of rain as he pored through the notes, his cats curled up around him. He came to the brief conclusion that Cagney was completely smitten, more so than many others he had worked with. The only person who had been in love to this extent was Harold, Sally’s husband; the couple had been going strong for three years, so he took that as a good sign.

Djimmi certainly didn’t expect that kind of behavior from Cagney. For a grumpy old carnation, he was surprisingly sentimental. Most things Cagney talked about were little anecdotes he had or traits he liked (and there were a lot), but occasionally he let his guard down and spilled more personal confessions. Even though he tried not to show it often, he did care deeply about Hilda and worried about her safety and her health, both physical and mental. He even mentioned that when he sold his soul to become stronger, he mainly had her in mind.

Djimmi was especially surprised by the last one. He had never figured out why Cagney sold his soul in the first place, but judging by how relieved the carnation looked to get it off his chest, no one else had either. Not that he was complaining; in fact, he thought it was really sweet.

He had sent Cagney home early that day and was now working on scheduling the rest of the week. After looking over the weather report Rumor had given him, he decided to get Cagney to confess by Saturday. That left four, maybe five days for wooing lessons and possibly a chat or two with Hilda to see if he could pick up on any returning feelings. 

He was a little concerned at whether or not Cala Maria would last on keeping it a secret, but the thought was quickly put away. He trusted the other women to keep her quiet. Besides, the isle residents, despite being pretty gossipy at times, wouldn’t razz Cagney over it if they wanted to keep their limbs intact.

The next morning, Djimmi set off for the first Isle, intent on finding Cagney. The grass was still damp from the day before and puddles littered the ground, but, just as Hilda predicted, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He found himself slowing down and enjoying the scenery. With his job, he didn’t have a lot of time to visit the Isle, so he always deeply appreciated the quiet of the forest when he got the chance to see it.

He passed by Cagney’s field, but surprisingly didn’t see the carnation anywhere. Brow furrowing, he turned around and headed for the observatory. Maybe Cagney was already making a move, he thought with an amused chuckle.

But Cagney wasn’t there either. Neither was Hilda, as no one answered the door when he knocked. Djimmi didn’t think much of it; he knew they went off on their own to harass each other or other people. They were going to be a pain to track down, though.

The genie stopped by Goopy’s house, knowing that he was a regular victim of the duo’s crimes. And rightfully so; Goopy was one of the few brave enough to get on Cagney’s nerves, which often led to the quite literal digging of his own grave. Sure enough, the brick home and the large oak tree out front were both decorated with poison ivy, eggs, and a large rain cloud that drenched the area. However, there was still no sign of the culprits.

Djimmi scratched his head, contemplating on where to go next. They hardly left the isle, but he didn’t know of all the secret meeting spots they could have gone to. Were there any? He wasn’t sure.

Before he could leave to ask the Root Pack, there was a sudden deafening squeal as something whizzed past his face and exploded in front of him. Djimmi let out a high-pitched scream that he was not proud of and jerked back, only to nearly get caught in another explosion behind him. He whipped around to find his attacker through the smoke and immediately summoned his swords, adrenaline pumping through him.

He nearly had a heart attack when the smoke cleared and Hilda popped out of the bushes, followed closely by Cagney. They were both cackling hysterically as they stepped out of the shrubbery and high-fived each other, nearly doubled over from laughing so hard.

“Oh my God, that was great,” Hilda wheezed.

“That scream was amazing,” Cagney agreed, wiping away a tear before being consumed by another bout of laughter.

Djimmi magicked his swords away with a flick of his hands and a sigh of relief. He managed a soft chuckle of amusement, shaking his head. 

Hilda leaned on her partner to catch her breath, still snickering. “Good idea on using the fireworks. Where’d you get them?”

“Stole ‘em,” Cagney joked, although Djimmi noticed he looked a little flustered at her being so close to him.

Hilda shoved him playfully. “Dork.” She glanced over at Djimmi. “Thanks for giving us a good laugh. Whatcha doing over here, anyway?”

“I came to talk to Cagney,” said the genie, looking over at the carnation meaningfully.

Cagney started in surprise. “Really? Already?”

“Unless you’re busy,” Djimmi added with a smirk.

Cagney flushed. “No, I just--ugh, whatever.” He directed his next question at Hilda, who looked a little curious but thankfully didn’t say anything. “You still up for a spar later?”

The sylph nodded. “Yeah, three o’clock, right?”

“Yep. I’ll go easy on you this time.” Cagney reached down and ruffled her hair with a chuckle.

She pretended to glare at him, shaking her fist. “I can kick your butt any day and you know it, weed.”

“I’m sure you could.” Cagney smirked mischievously. “Too bad you can’t reach it.”

Hilda let out a screech and tried to grab at him, but she was much too short to reach. Cagney ended up laughing hysterically again as he watched her strain for his petals. Eventually she gave up and stuck her tongue out at him.

“See you around, air fairy,” Cagney said, ignoring the rude gesture.

_“Sylph,”_ Hilda corrected. She inhaled deeply and switched to her zeppelin form. “Now I'm really gonna kick your butt for that. See ya.”

Clear as day, Djimmi could see the affection in Cagney’s gaze as he watched her pedal into the sky. He approached the carnation, grinning knowingly. “Well, well, well.”

“What?” Cagney snapped defensively.

“Doesn't look like you need my help with talking to her,” Djimmi observed.

“‘Cuz it’s just friend stuff we talk about.” Cagney turned red. “Plus, I guess it’s...kinda been easier after the past few days…”

Djimmi’s jaw dropped. “Are you admitting that I actually helped you?”

“Hey, don't make this weird,” Cagney said. “Although I suppose you want a thank-you now.”

Djimmi held out his hand to stop him from continuing. “Don’t thank me yet, friend. We still have to get you two together. I wanted to show you what I've been planning for this week.”

“Is that what you interrupted us for?” the carnation asked, a little annoyed.

“Yep.” Djimmi dragged his companion over to a more private part of the forest, away from Goopy’s house. He then unrolled the scroll he carried in the pocket of his vest. “Here’s the situation. You need to ask her out by Saturday.”

Cagney blanched. “What?!” He grabbed the parchment and scanned through it.

“Don't worry, it won't be for an actual date,” Djimmi reassured him. “It’ll just be a fake date to set the mood for when you tell her.”

“Why do I have to set the mood?”

“To make it more meaningful.”

Cagney let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “Saturday, seriously? You do know that’s less than a week away, right?”

“Yes, and that’s why I’m going to coach you,” the genie said.

Cagney hesitated. “With what?”

“Wooing,” Djimmi answered simply.

Cagney let his arms drop to his sides, still holding the parchment. “Why the hell do I have to learn that? Hilda’s not into those kinds of things.”

“There’s more to wooing than flirting,” Djimmi explained. “You have to impress her! Sweep her off her feet!”

“Literally?” Cagney asked.

Djimmi thought for a moment. “If it comes down to it, yes. But, what I mean is you have to go the lengths to show that you care without being completely out-of-character.”

Cagney slumped. “I ain’t exactly a romantic here.”

“That’s why I'm teaching you,” the genie pointed out matter-of-factly. He patted the carnation’s back. “Don't worry, friend. You’ll be charming her socks off in no time!”

\---

Cala Maria was freaking out.

With the help of her friends, who had smacked her every time she came across another person, she had managed to hold her tongue all weekend. Just barely, though. And now, with the big moment in less than a week, she found it considerably harder to keep it a secret. 

She was currently on her own out in the middle of the ocean, as she didn't trust herself being near anyone, biting her nails and swimming back and forth. Once in a while, a stray fish or crab would pop up to the surface and ask her what was wrong. It was extremely difficult to not blurt it out to them; all she could ever manage was a smile and an “I’m perfectly fine!” before shooing them away.

Ugh, maybe if she wasn't such a gossiper, it would be so much easier to keep a secret. She was so used to telling everyone everything to keep the isles up to date with each other. It was never anything too bad or too personal, of course, but it did include things such as public relationships or book club meetings or even new residents on occasion.

Plus, it was hard to hold down her excitement when she knew everyone else would be as well. News of Cagney falling for someone would definitely cause a stir. No doubt everyone would be rooting for him.

No, Cala had to stay quiet. She needed to respect Cagney’s privacy if she wanted to live to see him get hitched.

But she wanted to share it so badly!

But she didn't want to jeopardize Cagney’s chances either. What if everyone ended up accidentally distracting him?

She felt like she was going to explode. She had to tell someone, or something. Maybe she could yell at a buoy or a shipwreck: anything to take her mind off it, really.

Cala suddenly spotted a lone dolphin skipping across the water, singing to himself. Immediately she felt a desperate tug in her chest. She hadn't seen him around the isle too much. He probably didn't know who Hilda and Cagney were, right?

“No, Cala,” the mermaid muttered to herself, wringing out her hands. “You said you would keep it a secret.”

She tugged violently on her hair, chewing on her lip. “But I have to!” she cried.

“They’re going to be mad at you!”

“They won't find out!”

“You promised you wouldn't say anything!”

“But, I...agh!” Screw it. “Yoo-hoo, random dolphin!” she called, waving him down.

The dolphin stopped and stared at her, looking confused. “Yeah?”

“Guess what?” Cala let out an excited squeal. She figured she probably looked out of her mind, with the way she loomed over him with huge, crazed eyes and a wide grin, but at that moment she didn’t care. “Cagney has a crush on Hilda!”

There was a moment of silence as the dolphin’s gaze darted around, a strange look on his face. He started to edge away from her. “Uh...okay?”

“That’s all. Thank you!” Cala let out a sigh of relief and wiped sweat off of her forehead, watching him rapidly swim away. She felt so much better.

She couldn't help but feel a little guilty for spilling the beans, but the thought was quickly washed away. It was only one dolphin. Besides, he didn't really chat with anyone on land, much less the islanders. No one would find out, so the secret was technically still being kept as far as her friends were concerned.

Cala turned around and headed towards the mainland. With all that stress, she needed some serious girl time.


End file.
